


I'm Glad I Followed You Here

by Canon_Is_Relative, stardust_made



Series: The College AU [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Epistolary, Gratuitous Star Wars References, M/M, Pre-Slash, Puns & Word Play, Star Wars References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 15:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3982429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canon_Is_Relative/pseuds/Canon_Is_Relative, https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_made/pseuds/stardust_made
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A missing scene from the College AU, set sometime between chapter 29 (when Sam and Dean make up after their fight), and chapter 30 (when they're back from their impromptu hunt but before the movie). </p><p>This one started out a little cracky -- canon-as-Sam sent stardust-as-Dean the Someecard linked in Sam's first message -- but as usual when we just let the boys ramble at each other, they ended up talking about more than we'd bargained for. </p><p>This series of emails shows a kind of turning point for both of them as they think and talk about their lives together and what exactly they mean by "normal life" and how hunting, and their evolving relationship, might all fit together. Bonus fun/funny links that Sam sends Dean while ostensibly working on a paper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Glad I Followed You Here

From: [swinchester.uwmadison@gmail.com](mailto:swinchester.uwmadison@gmail.com)

To: [driving.down.crazy.street@gmail.com](mailto:driving.down.crazy.street@gmail.com)

Subject: [No subject]

 

Hey Dean, [I found this on the internet](http://forevertwentysomethings.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Youngest.jpg) so it must be true, right? Can't say I argue.

 

\- Sam

 

 

From: [driving.down.crazy.street@gmail.com](mailto:driving.down.crazy.street@gmail.com)

To: [swinchester.uwmadison@gmail.com](mailto:swinchester.uwmadison@gmail.com)

  
I don't know, Sammy, all I'm seeing is some more proof that you should never trust what you see on the internet.

Picture's kinda accurate though. That dorky kid is the spitting image of you.

See ya,  
  
Your perfect brother

 

 

[Sam]

Yeah, the internet is a weird place. Check this out, [it's your favorite bossy princess](http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/e2/38/74/e23874bcda1346d0f4cb09be32ea5160.jpg).

 

  

[Dean] 

That's awesome, dude!  
  
But I told you already, you're my number one.

 

[Dean, five minutes later.]

 Hey Sammy, got you blushing, didn't I? Go on, admit it!

 

 

[Sam]

Only thing making me blush is how I have a giant sap for a brother. [I guess me and Leia have that in common](http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/3a/6d/cb/3a6dcbcfc616c37dfecd13c2eefa1d68.jpg).

 

 

[Dean]

Sap? I'm not a sap! Can't a guy speak the truth?  
  
So is this you telling me you want to bend me backwards?

 

[Dean]

 You blushing now?

  
Where did you find these anyway?

 

 

[Sam]

A Jedi never reveals his secrets.

 

 

[Dean]

 Dude, just because you have way too much free time it does not make you a Jedi master! Sit your pretty little ass down and do some studying!

 

 

[Sam] 

Dean I love it when you get bossy like that.

 

 

[Dean]

You do?

 

 

[Sam]

I'm gonna regret saying this but yeah, sometimes I do.

 

 

[Dean]

 Well since we're sharing - I sometimes like my princesses bossy too.

 

 

[Sam]

How many princesses do you have on the line, Dean?

 

 

[Dean]

What can I say? I'm a lonely guy. A lonely, devastatingly attractive guy. Until I find my princess I'm gonna have to fly Solo.

 

 

[Sam]

You didn’t.

 

Dean, that was terrible. I’m seriously going to have trouble forgiving that one.

 

 

[Dean]

Dude, come on, it was AWESOME and you know it! I've been smirking to myself for five minutes!

 

 

[Sam]

Okay yeah, it was awesome...for Alderaan reasons. Boom, motherfucker. 

 

 

[Dean]

That all you got? Thank God you’re Hoth, dude.

 

You never said anything about the other thing. Heard of any good princesses lately? I prefer them bossy. Hot and smart and damn adorable would do too, though.

 

 

[Sam]

I can’t even talk to you right now.

 

You would have a supply of Star Wars puns on hand. How long have you been waiting to use that one? You're such a geek. 

 

 

[Dean]

They're just coming to me as I'm typing. Like the Yoda of puns I am.

  
Why can't you talk to me?

 

 

[Sam]

Because you're a giant dork and because I'm going to get kicked out of the library if I keep laughing at your stupid jokes, that's why.

 

[Sam]

Your stupid jokes that aren't even funny. 

 

 

[Dean]

Alright, I'll quit distracting you. Didn't know you were in the library.  Did you sit at that table again, right across from the librarian?

 

 

[Sam]

Yeah, why?

 

 

[Dean]

You were going to email your cool, hilarious big brother and you still sat there? Wookiee mistake, dude.

 

Alright, sorry, that was the last one! I'm gonna leave you alone with your books now.

 

 

[Sam]

Laugh it up, fuzzball. You are so gonna get it when I see you, fair warning.

 

 

[Dean]

Bring it on, Dorky!

 

When is that going to be?

 

 

[Sam]

You tell me, Bossy!

 

 

[Dean]

Right after library? I took the afternoon off. I put in some extra hours last week and Mikey gave them back to me today. So AFTER you finish whatever you're doing over there, drive your princess ass someplace nice and I'll come and meet you.

 

 

[Sam]

Someplace nice, huh? You buying, nerf herder?

 

 

[Dean]

Dude, that is no way to speak to your older brother. You gotta be kidding me asking if I’m buying after that kind of talk. Go find a book on manners and call me later.

 

 

[Sam]

Okay, okay, sorry. Jeez, feeling a little sensitive, are you? 

 

 

[Dean]

Keep up the attitude, it means the harder you're going to have to work to make it up to me, that's how I see it. And I'm immune to it, been watching you perfect that attitude for longer than I can remember.

 

[Dean]

Hey, Sam, remember that time last spring when we had the big argument and you were so miserable, you were scared you were going to make me mad again? I just thought about it, don’t know why. But just, I want you to know that I hate making you think I'm pissed at you, I swear, it does things to me.

 

 

[Sam]

Don't be so modest, you haven't just been watching me perfect my attitude you've been the cause of it at least 90% of the time. Man, Dean, you used to rile me up just for fun when I was a teenager, you'd make me so mad I couldn't see straight and you'd just be laughing. So if I'm "sassy" it's pretty much your fault. Just saying. 

 

And yeah, that sucked. Let’s never do that again. I feel like whatever we were fighting about was my fault and I'm sorry. It's like I have no perspective when it comes to you. I'm working on it. 

 

 

[Dean]

No, that's the thing, it's not just you. I hate myself when I make you think that.

 

 

[Sam]

No, dude, let's not do that, the blame game thing, I hate it. I can't deal with it when you look at me and I can see you're feeling guilty over something you think is your fault. I don't ever want to be the reason you feel anything other than awesome, okay? Not after everything we've been through. 

 

Be honest, it's you who's been putting [these posters](http://i.imgur.com/z6Hlu.jpg) up all over campus, isn't it?

 

 

[Dean]

_I can't deal with it when you look at me and I can see you're feeling guilty over something you think is your fault._

That's what I mean, it's the same with me. Like, how it makes me want to act, it's embarrassing!

Ha, that's good! But not me, no - I'd have put your goofy face instead of Chewie's.

 

 

[Sam]

What would your poster say, “Don’t be afraid of the dark, arm yourself with a Winchester?”

Speaking of Chewie, and my goofy face or whatever, [is this what it looks like](http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/10/76/b2/1076b2c91c29094ee50ce22e6ba53708.jpg) when I stand next to normal sized people? Sometimes I feel like it is.

And I just had this really weird thought, not even a thought so much as just, wishing for a second that I could put on a costume and be completely unrecognizable for awhile. Or maybe just...unremarkable? I mean, look at Peter Mayhew, he's a giant, he completely stands out as a human. But as Chewbacca he's just an average Wookie, I don't think I ever even thought Chewie was that big until I saw that picture of him next to Ford out of costume.

I found this whole cache of behind-the-scenes SW pictures including [this one](http://image.invaluable.com/housePhotos/profilesinhistory/73/547973/H3257-L57690790.jpg). It's so strange, looking at all these pictures of the cast out of costume, from Kenny Baker all the way up to Peter Mayhew, it kind of makes me think about the people we met working that rakshasa job at the circus. Remember what Cooper told us, how the circus had always been a haven for people who'd be considered "freaks," a place where they could be what and who they were and still have a normal life. Do you feel like that's kind of what hunting was, or is, for us? I mean, it's not a place, exactly, but still with what we know about the world, trying to fit in with normal people kind of makes me feel like Chewie in a universe without Wookies. Am I making any sense? Tell me if I'm not making any sense.  
  
Man, I think my brain is fried from this bioarchaeology research. But it just hit home to me again today how dealing with normal people in their "real" world sometimes makes hunting sound, I don't know, almost relaxing, in a way. The things normal people talk about and care about and think about can be so _stupid._  I don’t wonder anymore why most hunters never get out of the life, don’t even try. 

Do you ever think about what Dad would have done, if he’d lived to kill the demon?

 

[Dean]

First, you gotta buy me a drink for not making any comments about the essay you wrote to me instead of some professor of yours.

  
I don't like doing the whole shoulda, coulda, woulda thing. Dad's life was, I don't know...it was all he knew how to be, I guess. So long on the job, it's kinda like soldiers after decades in the service, it's gotta be. I don't know what he would have done, but I'm pretty sure settling down and a 9 to 5 job wasn't in the cards for the guy, whichever way you look at it.  
  
You're not thinking you're a freak, are you? Not again. I mean you're freakishly tall and dorky, but Sammy, if anyone could have a shot at normal and do it right, after the life you had, the way you grew up - it's you. I may not always get it or even like it, but even when I was telling you the exact opposite I always thought you could do it. Hide among the normal people, cuz you wouldn't have been hiding. It would've been you. It IS you. You are like a chameleon, you can fit in with the hunters as one of them and with the rest of humanity too. It kinda amazes me, that thing about you, knowing what I know about you. I guess that was why I told you that you couldn't escape who you were, the life, you couldn't have friends. Remember, when I came to Palo Alto to get you? Maybe I told you that because I knew deep down that if anyone could do it, you could and I don't know...didn't want you to try again, take off to where I couldn't follow.  
  
But I followed you to here, I mean look at that. Some mornings I think I'm in some weird dream and some I'm itching to get in my car and drive until I waste a tank, then another. But bottom line is I don't and trust me, no one's more surprised that I am, because I'm not you, Sammy. I can't do normal full time, never will. But I'm sticking around with my brother this time without freaking out and I'm good with that, can't ask for more. But you, you can have any life you choose, any. You should know that.  
  
Man, I'm not even SUPPOSED to be writing essays. I demand some reward for that, pie at the very least, like a whole one, fresh from the oven!

 

 

[Sam]

I know a place with really great pie and alcoholic milkshakes. Beer, too, if you want. It's a diner called [Monty's](http://www.montysblueplatediner.com/) over on Atwood, let’s go there sometime soon. 

 

I hope Dad would have found a way to be happy, or at least have peace. Well, he probably has that more now than he would have if he was alive, now he got out of the pit anyway. I know you don't like to speculate about stuff but I still can't help wondering sometimes. But not like in the way the Djinn picked stuff out of your brain and made up that fake world. That's not how it would have been, you know that, right? That thing was feeding off you by making your dream-world imperfect. I think that if it had created a dream that was too perfect you would have been complacent with it and not created the energy the djinn needs to feed. It's just a theory but Bobby thought I might be right about it. Anyway, even if Mom hadn't died and we didn’t have the life we do, no way you and I would have been like we were in your dream. I'll never believe that. 

 

And no, I know I'm not a freak. Or I mean, I am, but it doesn't really bother me any more. I don't know about hiding among normal people, though. I know I could, it just doesn't seem as important anymore. I don't know, I'm probably just going through a weird phase because I've been trying to do too much. Too much work and class and stuff, I should cut back before I burn out. I want to enjoy the parts of normal life that I actually like, you know? Like working at the bar or reading a book because I want to not because I have to, and hanging out with you without some monster or demon looming over us. 

 

I'm glad you followed me here, Dean. So damn glad. It's like we get to finally just be together for the first time ever, and it's...I don't even know, man, what to say without sounding like a dork. You have no idea what it means to me to know I can call you anytime and you'll be there like five minutes later. If you gotta waste a tank of gas now and then to stay sane, as long as you come back, if that helps keeps you nearby, you'll never hear me complain about the greenhouse effect to you. 

 

Let me know when you want that pie. I’m probably not going to have time before work tonight, but soon. I'll buy you a whole one but I get at least two slices before you shove it all in your face. 

 

[Dean]

Sammy, you know me so well. You talked that place up real good, let's go there then so you can spoil me.

I'm glad I followed you here, too, even if it means us growing closer or whatever, so I end up being on the receiving end of gigantic emails - when you should be typing up reports or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing in the library, dude. But yeah, it's good. Hanging out and being only moderately on our toes about whatever ugly-ass monster might jump us. And you know, I've been doing some thinking...Maybe you can enjoy normal life for what it is, but maybe hunting doesn't have to be like a dead-end to you? Like why does it have to be either or? Who says you either board that train and end up in Deadville or Sad-and-old-and-miserable-ville or you don't board it at all, who says what you can or can't do? Or what I should do? I say we make our own rules. Enjoy whatever it is we enjoy doing and if that happens to be ganking some evil son of a bitch, so be it. If it happens to be going back to a normal, perfectly legit job the next day, why not, right? It's your life and it's my life - that's all I'm saying. Maybe it won't work out, but at least we gotta try.  
  
Alright, I'm going out with the car. Text me or call me if you finish earlier and don't have to drive straight to work.  
  
Later Sammy.

 

 

[Sam]

Drive safe Dean, see you soon.

 

\- Sam


End file.
